Title: Off Focus (1/?)
Email address: rpjared @ gmail dot com
Archive: None. Ask first.
Rating & warnings: PG-13 for language and violence for this chapter. Higher up for graphic sex in the later chapters.
Disclaimer: None of it is mine. This is fiction. I make no money out of it.
Summary: Jared is more than a pretty face. Much, much more. Colin finds out the hard way.
The first time Colin saw Jared, he thought it must be a vision of some sort. /Men are not this beautiful. They're handsome, or charming, or even gorgeous. But beautiful? Hardly ever. Not like this./ As Colin spied the man coming in the room, his breath caught in his throat and he was utterly unable to let his eyes stray from the sight. When the hand was extended to him in greeting, he had to stop and give himself a firm mental slap before he reached for the long, expert-looking fingers. He looked into Jared's eyes and smiled. The amused and knowing glance that was sent back to him was no help to his current problem. /This is a man who knows he's gorgeous and not above using it./
"Hello Colin, I'm Jared. Your Hephaestion." When he heard that, Colin held his breathing for a second. There was something strangely compelling about this man. About the way he held himself and just seemed to radiate... magnetism. Colin had often been accused of having that aplenty, but looking at the other man, the relaxed and confident pose, amused and teasing eyes, unconsciously projecting sex, Colin thought he saw what magnetism truly was. And he was helpless to resist it.
Like a fish hooked by particularly tasteful bait, he was caught. Through the first two weeks of filming, unable to keep his mind completely off the other man. His Hephaestion. He was meant to be Alexander... the one with all the power, all the answers and he was meant to attract everyone else. The light to other people's darkness. Yet every time a scene finished, Jared's eyes, so warm and needful as Hephaestion, would cloud over. Unreachable.
Another of those nights, lying down in bed and just thinking...
/I'm not shy about myself. I never was. What is it about him that makes me react this way? Like a school boy. An amateur./
In frustration, Colin got up and started to pace.
/This isn't me. This... indecision and doubt... I want him, and I'm going to get him. Just need to focus. He's just a man. Just a man./
Feeding himself similar thoughts, Colin was soon ready to take on the world. Without another thought, he put on his coat and walked to his car, determined to have Jared by the end of the night.
He was still convincing himself when he knocked on the door and paced the hallway. He stopped trying when a sleepy Jared opened the door a crack and spoke, voice husky, "What the fuck d'you want?"
Pure panic. That's what it was. Frozen in place. /What the hell am I doing here?/
Rubbing his eyes, Jared opened the door wider to let Colin inside, "C'mon in, s'long as I'm awake."
Colin came in, eyes firmly fixed on Jared's back... chest... ass... legs... naked... flesh...
/That's it./ Helplessness and the feeling of being trapped by his own desires pushed his temper into boiling and he suddenly exploded, accent coming in thicker, "Whot the fuck d'ye think yer playing at, ye pricktease?"
Through the hot and heady feeling of anger, Colin saw and noticed Jared blink. Twice. The pretended innocence pushed him further into fury and he simply acted. Stalked forward, grabbed the man's wrists and slammed him back against the wall... /Taste him./ Lips reaching for Jared's, Colin could almost taste and feel the other man. Then his world exploded into pain and he collapsed to the floor, holding his dick and balls, hoping to make the /Fuck. Hurts./ paralysing pain go away.
His head was lifted up, a hand firmly fisted in his hair, then Colin was brought to look into Jared's coldly furious eyes. "You want something, you goddamn well ask for it, you fuck. Now get the fuck out."
Colin knew he was in the wrong, but the humiliation was too hot to back down and he growled, spitting out, "Ye didn't have to do that, lad." The grip in his hair was released and Colin slumped to the ground, holding his privates still, watching Jared as he circled him, then settled to watch closely.
"What's wrong with you, Colin?"
At those words, reality fell back with a crushing thud and Colin gave a sigh, straightening up and leaning against the couch, "Sorry... Don't know what came over me."
A nod from Jared, then the eyes became suddenly teasing. "You want ice for that?"
Colin just stared at Jared for a moment, then he started laughing, tension ebbing away with the laughter, "Ye bastard." It all seemed so silly now. Everything simpler and his obsessive behavior so odd. Yet at the same time, the need and attraction he felt for Jared grew ever so slightly. Anyone able to shrug off something like this with a joke was worth Colin's focus. He looked up again, sheepish, "I guess I deserved that."
"You did." There was no hesitation whatsoever in Jared's voice and Colin looked up, mildly surprised. Colin nodded and again started to apologize, only to be cut off by Jared, "Tell you what. You explain to me why you did it, and we'll be done with it. Forgiven and forgotten."
Colin paused, thinking quickly. There was a very subtle shift in the balance of power, now he owed Jared those answers, and there really wasn't any choice about it.
A blink. /He's good. Damn good./
Mind fully alert, Colin decided to go along with it, wanting to see where Jared intended to take them. "I just... I built myself up to this point." The next couple of words were lower, almost inaudible and Colin became fully aware of the vulnerability of his position, on the floor, looking up at Jared. "I didn't think. Just acted on..." A pause, Colin's mind drifted away ever so slightly so that the next word came out even softer, "Obsession." Colin shook his head, then justified lamely, "You're a beautiful man."
Colin tried to keep his eyes up and on Jared, wanting to see the reaction of the other man. Yet the oh-so blue eyes were fully blank, the face set in stone, betraying nothing. /Definitely more to him than I thought. Damn. I'm really a dick./
"Alright. So what exactly was it that started this... obsession? Just my looks?" There was a hint of disgust about that sentence that Colin would have missed if he weren't so focused on Jared.
Another blink. "No. I don't obsess over..." Colin again stopped and considered... /I hardly obsess over anyone at all./ "I don't know." /It's just plain embarrassing to discuss my head like that, damnit./
"Okay... so what is it you want from me, hmm? Thought about that one?"
Colin pulled his coat closer around himself, feeling intensely exposed now. His temper started flaring up again at the casual and cool evaluation of his feelings and thoughts, but this time, he kept a tight hold on it. "Look, I'm just going to go and not bother you again. It won't affect filming." With those words, Colin gathered himself off the floor and headed for the exit.
Just as he reached the door, however, he heard Jared utter a strange proposal, "Cook diner for two tomorrow. I'll come by."